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11.06.2010

Mens Brains...Womens Brains

What Men Are Really Thinking...

*  Crying is blackmail.
*  Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
*  Don't cut your hair. Ever.
*  Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
*  Get rid of your cat.
*  Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
*  Anything you wear is fine. Really.
*  Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
*  You have too many shoes.
*  If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
*  Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down.
*  Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
*  Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss          
    sometimes.
*  Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
*  A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
*  Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
*  Sunday was made for Sports .
*  If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
*  If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we
    meant the other one.
*  Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
*  Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
*  You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
*  Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having thier boobs   
    stared at
*  You have enough clothes.
*  Nothing says "I love you" like sex.

10.31.2010

Worst Celebrity Boyfriends EVER!

They are young, rich and incredibly beautiful.  Why would they end up with such crappy men? Here’s a short list (of a very long one) of girls who picked the worst possible boyfriends.

Sienna Miller & Balthazar Getty
Apart from being a bad boyfriend, Balthazar Getty seems to be a plain bad human being. Balthy ran off with ultimate home wrecker Sienna Miller, leaving his wife and four (!) young children behind to be photographed, again and again, holding Sienna’s naked naughty bits in front of droves of reporters. Nice one. What a complete and utter tool! Hmm, what goes around comes around...


Hmm, what goes around comes around...

Halle Berry & Eric Bennet
Berry’s ex Eric Benet cheated on her over and over and over. Imagine that. Cheating on Halle?! You idiot! Didn’t you see that Bond movie? To top things off, Eric himself claims he ‘only cheated to save the marriage’. Soooo, how’s that working for ya Eric?


Anne Hathaway & Raffaello Follieri
Thought she found amore with Italian millionaire hunk Raffaello Follieri. Alas, he turned out to be a fraud, even using a picture of himself and the pope to get people to give him loads of cash. Baffling... it actually worked! This bad boy is doing time and  thankfully Anne has moved on. Best to watch your wallet!


Britney Spears and  Kfed
Ah. Brittany. Poor Brittany.  She even married Kevin Federline, a guy who was in it for her fame and who somehow managed to come out looking like the more respectable parent of the two. Ai! That’s a bad, bad boyfriend.


Scary Spice and Eddie Murphy and...
Scary Mel B. dated and quickly fell pregnant by the not so great Eddy Murphy. The Beverly Hills Cop denied point blank until a paternity test (how embarrassing!) proved Scary’d been right all along and he was the father of their daughter. He has still refused to even see the little girl. Jerk!


...Posh Spice and Corey Haim
The sins of our youth will keep haunting us forever! Posh’ Ex boyfriend Corey Haim did a kiss-and-tell story on Posh, years and years after they split up. Now we all know Posh is a bad kisser….
Now that’s pretty bad, but I saved the best/worst for last!


Lady Di and James Hewitt
Absolutely, undeniably, no contest, worst boyfriend ever: Di’s ex James Hewitt told the world in a documentary all about his affair with Lady Di. I guess at least he had the courtesy to say that she was a good lover. So I suppose Di has that small advantage over Posh. However, Hewitt then went on to sell her love letters to the highest bidder.


What kind of a jerk does that? Well, a greedy one apparently. I hope there’s a special circle of hell for jerks like these. There probably is….

Author: Liz

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