Countdown:: Top Ten Teeny Weenies
10. Daniel Craig. Could the suave and sexy James Bond be, God forbid, small? Maybe. Daniel Craig used penis doubles for his sex scenes in Casino Royale. Something to hide, Mr. Craig?
9. Howard Stern. The self-professed King of all Media insists he's got a borderline micro-penis; which if you look it up, is actually the size of a large clitoris. Ew.
8. Fred Durst. When a sex tape got out that showed the Limp Bizkit singer's alleged shortcomings, Durst sued Gawker Media. Stat.
7. Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's not small, per se, but he does put to rest the rumor the bodybuilders are more well-hung than common folk. The Gov once said: "You can't make it bigger through exercise, that's for sure." Obviously, he's tried.
6. Ashton Kutcher. When Kutcher started dating Demi Moore, his ex, Brittany Murphy speculated, "To him, age doesn't matter, and to her, size doesn't." Just bitter? Or telling the truth?
5. Eminem. The rapper's got a big head, but that's about it. Ex-wife Kim said Em wasn't well-endowed and, further, that he sucked in bed.
4. Dustin Diamond. Is anyone really surprised Screech used a stunt penis?
3. Daniel Radcliffe. When the Harry Potter star appeared naked on stage in 'Equus,' his penis shrank 'to the size of a hamster.' God knows what it looked like before.
2. Danny Bonaduce. The washed-up child star sports a d*ck the size of a baby gnat. And yet that hasn't stopped him from dropping trou. Over and over again.
1. Napoleon. The Little General, indeed. Supposedly, the general of France's penis was chopped off and, like the rest of him, boy, was it small.
Lemondrop: By Andrea Zimmerman