* Crying is blackmail.
* Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
* Don't cut your hair. Ever.
* Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
* Get rid of your cat.
* Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
* Anything you wear is fine. Really.
* Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
* You have too many shoes.
* If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
* Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down.
* Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
* Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss
* Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
* A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
* Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
* Sunday was made for Sports .
* If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
* If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we
meant the other one.
* Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
* Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
* You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
* Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having thier boobs
* You have enough clothes.
* Nothing says "I love you" like sex.