What Men Are Really Thinking...

*  Crying is blackmail.
*  Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
*  Don't cut your hair. Ever.
*  Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
*  Get rid of your cat.
*  Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
*  Anything you wear is fine. Really.
*  Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
*  You have too many shoes.
*  If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
*  Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down.
*  Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
*  Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss          
    sometimes.
*  Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
*  A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
*  Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
*  Sunday was made for Sports .
*  If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
*  If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we
    meant the other one.
*  Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
*  Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
*  You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
*  Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having thier boobs   
    stared at
*  You have enough clothes.
*  Nothing says "I love you" like sex.