Revising 60s Hits ::

Artists of the 60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate 50-something baby boomers. These include:

Bobby Darin:
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash

Herman's Hermits:
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker

Ringo Starr:
I Get By With a Little Help From Depends

The Bee Gees:
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip

Roberta Flack:
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face

Johnny Nash:
I Can't See Clearly Now

Paul Simon:
Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

The Commodores:
Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom

Marvin Gaye:
Heard It Through the Grape Nuts

Procol Harem:
A Whiter Shade of Hair

Leo Sayer:
You Make Me Feel Like Napping

The Temptations:
Papa's Got a Kidney Stone

Abba:
Denture Queen

Tony Orlando:
Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall

Helen Reddy:
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore

Leslie Gore:
It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To

And last but not least...

Willie Nelson:
On the Commode Again

Women like silent men. We think they’re listening...

Countdown:: Top Ten Teeny Weenies

10. Daniel Craig. Could the suave and sexy James Bond be, God forbid, small? Maybe. Daniel Craig used penis doubles for his sex scenes in Casino Royale. Something to hide, Mr. Craig?

9. Howard Stern. The self-professed King of all Media insists he's got a borderline micro-penis; which if you look it up, is actually the size of a large clitoris. Ew.

8. Fred Durst. When a sex tape got out that showed the Limp Bizkit singer's alleged shortcomings, Durst sued Gawker Media. Stat.

7. Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's not small, per se, but he does put to rest the rumor the bodybuilders are more well-hung than common folk. The Gov once said: "You can't make it bigger through exercise, that's for sure." Obviously, he's tried.

6. Ashton Kutcher. When Kutcher started dating Demi Moore, his ex, Brittany Murphy speculated, "To him, age doesn't matter, and to her, size doesn't."  Just bitter? Or telling the truth?

5. Eminem. The rapper's got a big head, but that's about it. Ex-wife Kim said Em wasn't well-endowed and, further, that he sucked in bed.

4. Dustin Diamond. Is anyone really surprised Screech used a stunt penis?

3. Daniel Radcliffe. When the Harry Potter star appeared naked on stage in 'Equus,' his penis shrank 'to the size of a hamster.' God knows what it looked like before.

2. Danny Bonaduce. The washed-up child star sports a d*ck the size of a baby gnat. And yet that hasn't stopped him from dropping trou. Over and over again.

1. Napoleon. The Little General, indeed. Supposedly, the general of France's penis was chopped off and, like the rest of him, boy, was it small.

enough said...


Lemondrop: By Andrea Zimmerman

                                    
                                        Well this makes cooking dinner a little more challenging...

Colorado Girls Know How To Spell Girls:)

I love Katie Perry's "California Gurls" but this was pretty damn funny from a Colorado girls point of view...!




"Colorado Girls" was written, directed and performed by Lauren Brady, Ian Rice and Josh Greenwood and friends.